“Why Me?” Finding Meaning on the Special Needs Parenting Journey
Today, I had a client share something profoundly moving. She mentioned she has two children, each experiencing unique challenges—one with autism and intellectual disability, and another facing speech delays, physical challenges, and possibly ADHD. With deep sincerity, she asked, “What could be my life’s purpose? Is there a specific reason I have these two beautiful, unique souls?”
This question resonated deeply because it reflects what so many parents of children with additional needs grapple with: the quest for meaning amidst daily challenges. Many parents often find themselves asking, “Why me?” when faced with these challenges, seeking clarity in the midst of uncertainty.
For parents navigating this path, your life’s purpose is multifaceted and profoundly beautiful:
1. An Embodiment of Unconditional Love:
Parenting children with additional needs teaches you the essence of unconditional love—a love that surpasses challenges, embraces differences, and continually grows stronger.
2. Being Both Teacher and Student:
Each moment with your child provides mutual lessons. Your child learns resilience, love, and safety from you, while you simultaneously learn profound patience, empathy, strength, and wisdom from them.
3. Advocating and Empowering:
Your experiences naturally position you as a powerful advocate. Your voice and actions not only guide your children but inspire and support other families experiencing similar journeys.
4. Inner Transformation and Growth:
Challenges in parenting can become gateways to spiritual and emotional growth. Each difficulty you face invites deeper reflection and understanding, nurturing your spirit and guiding you toward becoming the most authentic version of yourself.
Why might you have been chosen for this journey?
Philosophically and spiritually, there’s a comforting thought: perhaps our souls choose these profound life journeys to evolve, grow, and enrich one another. Some spiritual traditions suggest that before birth, souls select their families and life paths based on the profound lessons and growth opportunities these relationships provide.
From a therapeutic viewpoint, life’s meaning emerges not from asking, “Why me?” but rather, “What meaning can I create from this?” Viktor Frankl, a renowned existential psychologist, taught that our true purpose is found in how we respond to life’s challenges—with resilience, courage, and compassion.
If you’re a parent facing a similar journey, know this:
Your purpose isn’t something hidden or elusive. It is something you continually create and embody through your daily acts of compassion, strength, and love. Embrace your journey, cherish its teachings, and trust that every challenge holds a profound gift, guiding you toward deeper understanding, love, and connection. Trust that your life is deeply meaningful—every challenge, every triumph, every moment. You and your children, together, are on a sacred and purposeful journey. Continue nurturing it with the love, dignity, strength, and grace that you so beautifully embody.
Gentle Recommendations to Deepen Your Path:
Mindful Reflection:
Regular meditation, journaling, or contemplation helps you discover insights into your purpose and spiritual journey.
Connection with Community:
Engage with families experiencing similar challenges. Mutual support often illuminates life’s deeper meanings.
Seek Guidance:
Explore therapeutic support or spiritual counselling, guided by professionals who specialise in supporting parents of children with additional needs.
Meaning through Contribution:
Perhaps, in time, your experiences may inspire you to help others—through advocacy, writing, educating, or simply being a beacon of strength and kindness.